


Runs In the Family

by babydragon7



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27980244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydragon7/pseuds/babydragon7
Summary: When his partners look at him and Gaby says brightly “Hello, Napoleon. There is something we need to tell you” he feels frozen, glued to the spot.
Relationships: Illya Kuryakin/Napoleon Solo
Comments: 5
Kudos: 77





	Runs In the Family

**Author's Note:**

> Not mine. Obviously.
> 
> The title comes from the heart-wrenching song by Amanda Palmer.

They both are waiting for him, Gaby and Ilya. Napoleon is still in his bathrobe and barely awake, but here they are his partners and friends, hell-early in the morning, in his apartment sitting together on his leather couch. Here goes the goodwill of giving them the keys ‘just in case’.

The first thing Napoleon notices is that they are fucking glowing, they don’t even pay attention to him entering and standing in the doorway, so focused they are on each other. Soft smiles on both of their faces, even Ilya looks as content as Napoleon has ever seen him.

Cold dread settles in his stomach, ice prickles around his heart, he feels like he knows where this is going.

When his partners look at him and Gaby says brightly “Hello, Napoleon. There is something we need to tell you” he feels frozen, glued to the spot.

He plasters a weak smile on. It is going to be one of two things, he decides, either Gaby is pregnant or they are getting married. They would not make such a fuss just to tell him they are dating. Lately he did not even catch them flirting and had begun to hope that the subtle looks he was throwing Ilya were finally being noticed. What will happen now, Napoleon briefly wonders. Will they abandon him? Return to Soviet Union or go to East Berlin together? He is used to being alone, he thinks bitterly, it is in his name after all, Solo is what he is, solo is how he goes.

He should be happy for Gaby and Ilya, Napoleon decides, or at least pretend to. However, before he manages to croak ‘Congratulations’, Ilya says

“Cowboy, Gaby and I just found out. We are related!”

“Cousins”, Gaby amends happily.

This is not something Napoleon was prepared to hear. “How?” he manages weakly.

“My grandfather was a professor at University in Warsaw” Ilya clarifies. “You know that Poland was part of Russian Empire for more than hundred years, right? So, he worked in Warsaw, but after the Revolution happened he returned to Kiev, and after that moved to Moscow and voluntarily joined the Red Army”.

Napoleons head swims a bit.

“But his brother remained in Warsaw, and later moved to Berlin”, Gaby says. “And that’s my grandfather”.

“We were watching Gaby’s family photos and I saw the portrait of both of them on the wall. I had a similar one at home growing up”.

“Isn’t it great?”

It sure is, even if it sounds like a plot from a cheap operetta. They are a family now, and Napoleon is still just a witness to their happiness, standing by himself on the sidewalk.

“I thought you were going to ask me to be a godfather or a best man”, Napoleon answers truthfully and watches both Ilya and Gaby make an ‘eww’ face.

“Absolutely not”, Ilya says.

“Besides,” Gaby smiles, “Ilya likes someone else”.

“Gaby!” Ilya sputters and Gaby sticks out her tongue at him.

Suddenly the ice around Napoleon heart breaks and he laughs aloud. They are still here after all, they came to tell him the news because he – Napoleon Solo – matters. 

“That’s wonderful news. Let me cook us a celebratory breakfast then”.

Gaby goes to rummage in his bar and Ilya joins him in the kitchen, hovering a little.

“You know”, he says conversationally, “I think, friends are also like a family. Even better than the real one”.

“How come?” Napoleon turns from the stove to watch him incredulously.

“I’m happy, Gaby is my cousin, but I’ve already liked her. Family we cannot choose for ourselves. Do you think Gaby would’ve chosen being related to Rudy?”

“No, don’t think so”.

‘Ilya is beautiful’, Napoleon thinks all of the sudden. His favorite Russian looks serene today, happy smile on, eyes bright.

“But we can choose friends”, Ilya goes on.

Napoleon thinks of his mother, who does not recognize him anymore, in a retirement home. He thinks of Gaby and Ilya he now cooks for, fights for and kills for on occasion. They have a key for his apartment. If something were to happen to him, Ilya would get his jazz records and Gaby – stolen – ‘Ballerinas’ by Edgar Degas. They sure are his – one of the kind, fucked up – family.

Actually, that is why he have not made any move on Ilya, he is afraid to shift the balance. Still they are already so entwined; would it hurt to entwine a bit more?

Now, maybe the time to say or do something is now. The silence sings. The morning is bright and full of potential.

Ilya comes closer, no tie, polo shirt on, his neck bared. He touches the sleeve of Napoleon’s bathrobe and pulls a little.

“Napoleon!” Gaby cries from the dining room. “Where did you hide champagne? I think we should drink champagne”.

Napoleon smiles at Ilya. “Your fair cousin demands champagne early in the morning”.

Ilya just shrugs. “She’s a bit of a mess. Just like you are. Just like I am”.

“Runs in the family”, Napoleon quips and they go back to the dining room to share drinks and crackers.

Napoleon provides champagne, Ilya proposes toasts and Gaby sparks joy.


End file.
